Someone who loves you should never be violent on you. Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person. Relationship Violence or abuse is when someone uses power or control or anger to make someone else feels hurt, scared or humiliated. In a relationship there can be a pattern of this behaviour that is used to get someone to do what another person wants. Control or manipulation or jealous or possessive behaviour can be confused with love. Love is not any of these things.
Relationship Violence can sometimes be mistaken for intense feelings of caring or concern. Sometimes abuse can even seem flattering; think of a friend whose boyfriend or girlfriend is insanely jealous. This makes you think that your friend`s partner really cares about him or her. But actually, excessive jealousy and controlling behavior are not signs of affection at all. Love involves respect and trust. It doesn`t mean constantly worrying about the possible end of the relationship.
We all want loving supportive relationships, where we can feel safe, protected, respected, acknowledged, understood. We don`t want violence, abusive behaviour, psychological torture and aggression. We want and need relationships where peace and harmony coexist with respect, interdependence and independence. A relationship where abusive behaviour is existent is never tolerated. Relationships are not based on ill treatment and threats, violence and abuse.
People can stay in unhealthy or abusive relationships because of emotional manipulation, especially emotional blackmail. These are things most people can identify with as having experienced in some form or another. The women`s spiritual or cultural community may stop her from leaving these abusive relationships or relationship violence. Many communities shun women who leave their partners. This remains a leading problem for women these days.