Today women work for the same reasons men work, not just to provide a second income. Both the spouses have their own careers, interests and activities equal to each other. However, are these the reasons for the spouses getting divorces? This is quite a thought to keep the younger generation guessing.
The institution of marriage has changed dramatically over the past 100 years. Many factors have played a part in this evolution. Earlier, marriage was often a matter of convenience. Roles for men and women were clearly defined; men were expected to work, with their primary responsibility being the family provider. Women were to take care of the home and bear children for whom they would then be the caretaker. Marriages were for the purpose of raising a family - breeding children who would grow up to help with the chores, work the fields, or take over the family business.
With the industrial revolution, the Second World War, and finally the technological revolution, much of this changed. Each of these revolutions provided greater leisure time and greater freedom from chores. Thus families had fewer children. The World War II created a need for women to enter the work force after which, the ladies did not return home! Two-income families became the norm.
Thus, the expectations men and women have of one another, and subsequently of marriage, have changed. Couples expect more of one another and from their marriage. With increased information, leisure time, mobility, and affluence people have more time to learn about themselves and to experience various life styles. They have more contact with how other people live. They also have increased opportunity to learn about themselves. In less affluent times, when roles were clearly defined along gender lines, a person`s self-concept remained static. Today, however, after being continuously bombarded with information and the possibility of change, the concept of self has become more dynamic.
When two people are married and over a period of years at least one person, if not both, undergoes a significant change in self-concept, the marriage will also change. The reasons that they married for are no longer the same. If interests, goals, values change along with a changing self, you have a different dynamic set up between the two people. In some cases this dynamic is such that the marriage no longer seems viable. When we combine this change with the awareness that we will be living longer, it appears more probable that people will seek a second or third partner with whom they feel more compatible.
It is no longer sufficient for a man simply to be a terrific provider and for a woman to be an outstanding homemaker. Apart from all these, the spouses want more intimacy, romance, affection, understanding, commonality of interests, conversation, common values, and exciting sex, to mention a few of the more common requirements. They want an equal partnership with one another, where both parties participate equally in all of the decisions pertaining to the home and to child rearing, regardless of whom are earning more money.
Increased longevity, increased affluence, and increased opportunity for personal growth, when combined with significantly changing expectations regarding marriage, suggest that people must learn new or different ways of relating to one another if their marriage is going to survive. When this is not possible, either for lack of desire, capacity, or interest on the part of one or both parties, divorce becomes an option.
Divorce refers to the dissolution of marriage by one party to the marriage before the death of the other spouse. A divorce must be certified by a court of law, as a legal action is needed to dissolve the prior legal act of marriage. However, while granting a divorce, the court determines the terms of divorce, which the spouses do not agree in most of the cases. This then leads to many complicated and stressful divorces. Thus, divorces are usually difficult for everyone involved.
In many cases, the choice to divorce is deeply felt by both parties as a failure, and even more so when there are children. Divorce is an option for most people, even if it can be avoided, however, it is important to realize that choosing to divorce is no simple decision. If you are thinking about a divorce, you should understand that something has really gone wrong in your relationship. You can either work for the appraisal of your marriage or an appraisal of yourself, by deciding whether you want to continue in this marriage or otherwise.
Divorces are powerful events. But before they can re-shape your life, they first shake and disrupt it and the lives of many others. Thus, it is critical to first discuss these issues with your spouse if there is going to be any chance of your marriage improving. Such decisions can definitely give a chance of your relationship to improve! Take the time to think carefully before your decision.