Many people have a very different idea of their perfect marriage. They often envisage a young couple walking along the beach at sunset holding hands, or picture a mom and a dad standing by the barbecue laughing together with a bunch of kids running around or might imagine an older couple whose eyes still sparkle when they look at each other.
Unrealistic expectations of your spouse can keep you from fully appreciating your partner. By wasting time in thinking what your spouse is not, you will never find the time and energy to notice his or her wonderful qualities. The sooner you accept the fact that your spouse is not perfect, the sooner you will be able to have an extraordinary marriage.
Marriage is a very delicate relationship and it needs to be handled carefully. A slightest of problem, if not solved at the right time can aggravate to such a level, whereby returning back to this relationship might not be possible. It is also important to notice that when some partners are going through difficult times in their marriage, they very easily want to just give up. But this is exactly the time you need to face the challenge. You need to be determined to make your marriage succeed.
Hence, lets look at some of the obstacles most married partners have to sustain, while handling their marriage.
The most important obstacle in a relationship would be the blame-game! Some people fall into the habit of expecting their spouse to make them happy. And if what they expect does not happen, they start feeling that their spouses have started ignoring them and thus their marriage is falling apart. It always starts with, "He did not do this" or " He did not do that for me". This can easily turn into "None of this is my fault; it is all my spouse`s fault." The blame game continues and so do the problems since you end up making your spouse your enemy.
Figure out ways that both you and your spouse can help the situation. Blaming each other will get you nowhere. Rather than blaming each other for why things aren`t working, try to figure out ways to make things better. If you find yourself angry and blaming your spouse for something, stop, sit down, and think about what you can do to better understand how your spouse is feeling.
In today`s competitive world, it is very obvious that most of the spouses are independent and do not want to be bound by any family matters. They want each of them to share their responsibilities equally and do not want to be tied down. And in order to be successful, they forget the most important rule of marriage: to love and care for each other. Most couples` let lot of times go by without letting each other know how much they care about each other. They treat their relationship like one more ordinary thing in their lives. Then they start taking their most important relationship for granted and the importance of marriage becomes just another daily obligation.
If you want your married life to start blossoming like the way it was in the beginning then this is what you should do; start doing one nice thing each day for your spouse. You might argue that you do not have time to do a nice thing every day for your spouse. But there are so many things you can do that take very little time and make a good relationship great.
You might do one of your spouse`s chores, like taking out the garbage or doing the weekly grocery shopping. You might leave a note in his pocket or call him at work in the middle of the afternoon to let him know how much you love him. You could turn on her favourite music so that it is playing when she gets home from work. You might take his clothes to the dry cleaners or buy his favorite ice cream. You could do something more traditional like order flowers or prepare a special meal. Maybe even make a special breakfast. By getting in the habit of doing something special daily, you will keep your relationship fresh!
Some days you might feel closer to your spouse than on other days. Sometimes you are dealing with a stressful major life event such as a move or a death in the family. Your marriage is a constant in the midst of your changing life. Sometimes you might also realize that you miss the closeness you felt when circumstances were more challenging and then develop a tendency to take each other for granted when your lives are going well.
Even if you had a bad day, try to remember to acknowledge the importance of your relationship. Try to say something kind to your partner before you go to sleep. It is easy to feel that there will be time in the future to show your appreciation, but we all know stories in which understanding and appreciation of someone came too late. Tell your significant other how much he or she means to you-often. If your spouse feels precious and important to you, it is less likely he or she will take you for granted. He or she will almost certainly treat you better. Appreciation goes a long way toward making a house into a home.
Apart from some problems, there are some universal qualities that are part of every great marriage and every partner in a marriage should make it a point to employ them for surviving their marriage. They are:
Communicating well with your spouse is absolutely crucial to having a great marriage. It is the way you let your spouse know what you are feeling and what you need from him or her. When you listen carefully, you are showing your spouse how important he or she is to you. When you talk with each other, make sure you give each other your undivided attention, make eye contact, and use good timing. If you and your spouse communicate well, you will be in the best position to fully appreciate each other and solve your differences.
A marriage is a partnership and takes teamwork. When you are part of a team, the success of the team is always more important than your individual success. Make sure you support each other and avoid blaming each other when things go wrong. Take time to work out your differences together. Remember that it`s more important to develop a solution than to prove a point or to win an argument. Your partnership is your first priority.
Effort is what makes a relationship work. You cannot have a good marriage without putting in the time and energy to make it work. Many people think a good marriage should not take a lot of energy. A great relationship is great because both people put in their complete effort to make it work. Make sure to give your marriage the time and energy that it deserves. Investing regularly and consistently in your marriage will be the best investment you will make in your entire life!
Being flexible is so important in a marriage. If you figure out ways to make the best of a situation, then you will be a happier, more satisfied person, and you will have a better marriage, too!
Remember that you need to stay committed to your relationship through good times as well as bad. When you are 100 percent committed to your marriage, it will be much easier to be there for your spouse. If you feel like walking out of your marriage whenever things get tough, you will be undermining your relationship. But if you always stand by your spouse through thick and thin, you will be making it clear that you are completely committed to him or her. When both of you are committed to each other, you will give each other a wonderful sense of security.
Thus, what is required is the determination to undergo all the trials and tribulations required and make your relationship last forever. Determination allows you to see past a tough situation and focus on the long-term goals in your marriage.