A myth is a mistaken idea about violence. Your situation is yours and you know best. This is a way of getting as much information as possible for you to make your own choices about your own life.
Someone who gets hit did something to deserve it!
Violence is never a way to sort things out. Saying you "deserved to get hit" is an excuse for violence. "If you stopped your nagging" or "did what I said" are ways of blaming you and making you feel like violence is your fault. Violence is never your fault. It is up to the person who uses violence to find other ways to deal with stress or to work out problems. No one deserves to be abused.
You should be ashamed if your partner is violent to you
It is said a partner will hit one in three women at some time and one in eight will experience on-going abuse! Many people have experienced a similar situation to you. You do not need to be ashamed of what someone else does. Violence aimed at you is not your fault and you do not have to cover it up for someone else. Your safety and happiness are most important. You have the right to feel safe and to not live in fear.
But he has never hit me!
Violence is not only what is done to you physically. Emotional and verbal abuse slowly make you feel worthless and like there is something wrong with you. Other kinds of violence can make you feel alone, stupid or that you "should do as you are told". When you feel this way it might make you think that you have no choice but to "take it". You have got the right to be treated with respect, enjoy your youth and fulfil your dreams.
Drugs or alcohol cause someone to become violent
Lots of violence happens when someone is drunk or on drugs. Lots of people become drunk or use drugs and do not become violent. Drugs and alcohol do not cause violence; they are an excuse for violence. Violent behaviour is a choice. It is based on someone`s belief that violence is an OK way to sort things out.
Women who become involved in violent relationships should stand up for themselves and they are weak if they don`t.
On average, it takes 7 tries for a woman to leave a violent relationship. There are reasons why they stay. Being a woman can mean, "caring for others". Being a man can mean being tough and "ruling the roost". This combination of caring and ruling can mean the relationship goes on. Feeling "in love", thinking of children`s needs, constant "sorry" or promises to change, or getting threats like "I can`t go on without you" can lead to choices to stay in a relationship. It can be very scary to step out on your own and leave. Your rights and needs are important. You are the one to stick up for them.