After having a break-up you may feel like you are starting over your life again since you have lost everything that was important to you and you are not sure what to do anymore. It may be hard for you to imagine your life without your partner because your lives have been so intertwined. Hence, some people feel that nothing will make them happy again and resort to alcohol or drugs. Others feel angry and want to hurt themselves or someone else. People, who drink, do drugs, or cut themselves, to escape from the reality of a loss may think they are numbing their pain, but the feeling is only temporary. They are not really dealing with the pain, only masking it, which makes all their feelings build up inside and prolongs the sadness.
Sometimes the sadness is so deep and it lasts so long that a person may need some extra support. For someone who are not feeling better after a few weeks or who continues to feel depressed, talking to a counselor or therapist can be very helpful. So be patient with yourself, and let the healing begin.
You may find yourself questioning who you can trust, including your own judgment since you may not have expected the break-up. You may wonder if you were wrong to have trusted your partner. Your ability to trust may feel shaky. You probably trusted your partner, and expected your relationship to last. You may feel alone and abandoned, even if you are the one who decided to leave. You may begin to question how real your relationship was because if it was real how could it ever be over.
You may also experience an identity crisis, not knowing who you are any more without your partner. Not necessarily because you didn`t have your own identity while in the relationship, but that your relationship had become part of that identity.
Break-ups can hurt immensely and shake us to our very core. If you feel as though you are being punished or that the break-up means that you are unlovable, or unworthy of love, you are probably triggered - those are messages, beliefs or feelings that usually originate in childhood. They can throw us right back to the feelings we had in our first relationships - the ones we had with our parents. At times of loss, it is very common for feelings, beliefs and memories from past hurts, traumas, and losses to come up.