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Relationships with Adopted Children
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AdoptionAdoption is a wonderful alternative for those who cannot or do not want to become biological, parents. With the risks of abortion increasing with each passing day due to the increasing stress in our daily lives, adoption is accepted as a suitable alternative option by many. Adoption could also be an alternative for parents who have a biological child and are also keen on providing a home to an underprivileged child who needs love and care.

Whether married or single, at some point in our lifetime many of us consciously make a decision as to whether to become parents or not. For some people the decision is easy and they become parents through the biological processes of conception and childbirth. In recent years with the help of science and technology more couples have been able to start families. These same individuals may not have been able to conceive children some 15 to 20 years earlier. Improved fertility drugs and procedures such as artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization, as well as, the growing acceptance of surrogates have all paved the way for more people becoming parents.

But for some couples who have explored and pursued every medical option available and yet are not able to conceive the road to parenthood can be a much more difficult journey. The same goes for a single woman or man if she or he would like to become a parent, but is not in a relationship, which would produce a child. Sometimes it also happens that due to the conflicts between a person`s religious beliefs or personal financial restrictions, the option of becoming a parent through the wonders of modern medicine are not possible. Thus, in all the above circumstances adoption may be the only method available to these people to become a parent. Adopting a child is when a couple takes a child who is not theirs and raises them as a member of their family. When you adopt a child, the child has all the legal rights as all the other members of the family.

For many couples infertility is the reason behind their decision for adoption; but the desire to share their love with a child is their motivation to adopt. Adoption is a very important, major step in a couple`s relationship and in their life, one that must be carefully thought out with all angles and possibilities considered. However, there are some couples who, when faced with the decision to adopt, discover their respective spouses are only interested in having a biological child and they do not want to adopt any children. It is important that couples communicate with each other before and throughout their marriage as to what things are important to them and what is and is not acceptable in deciding upon starting a family. For couples, adoption should be a mutual decision.

Adoption is a legal matter involving a couple (or in some cases a single person) and a pregnant woman. The pregnant woman does not want her child, and she, legally, turns all rights and responsibilities over to the new parents. There are many ways to adopt a child, including
An adoption agency
A pregnant friend or family member

An adoption agency is a business, which is, typically, operated for profit. Therefore this option will be the most expensive. This method provides the appropriate legal advice and the filing of forms and provisions for the adoption.

AdoptionA pregnant friend or family member is the easiest way to adopt a child, however, emotionally speaking, it is sometimes the most difficult. The child is aware, usually, from the beginning, that he or she is adopted. This creates a feeling of rebellion in some children, with an `easy way out` if they rebel against discipline, family goals and values, or plans. This type of adoption is usually based more on hardship than desire for a new child.

Thus, there are many circumstances to consider when contemplating adoption as a way of starting or adding to your family. Everyone involved in the adoption has to be 100% sure of the decision and the choices being made. It makes the future for one child that much healthier, happier and secure. Adoption may not be the answer for everyone, but it can certainly be a winning option for those willing to open their hearts and homes to children in need of receiving and wanting to give love.

It is how we perceive the concept of adoption that makes the difference. An adopted child should be treated just like any other biological child. The emotional bonding should be so strong that the child feels like s/he is a member of the family. Being an adoptive parent is nothing to be ashamed about. It will be easier for your child to accept his/her adoptive status, if you are comfortable being an adoptive parent. If you continue to avoid social visits out of fear of being rejected or criticized, then your child will begin to believe that something is wrong in being adopted. This will lead to anxiety and inferiority making him/her feels devalued in their eyes.

Positive statements will bring out the positive side of the child-parent relationship. You can make statements like
We wanted a child very much and we met you and fell in love with you
We knew of someone who knew where babies who needed parents lived and we went there and liked you the instant we saw you, so we brought you home.

Your attitude and the feelings behind the words expressed make all the difference. If the child is surrounded by feelings of love, nurturing and belonging, s/he will reciprocate the same. The fact that the child is a cherished member of the family will make the child feel wanted and go a long way in establishing the desired bond between the parent and the child. Treat the child as you treat your biological offspring.

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